update

HERROW READERS. I ARE BACK FOR AN UPDATE ^^


Not gonna delve into uninteresting details so in general, I SURVIVED THE PAST WEEK WITH UTs and Japanese papers ! #proud
HEY I SURVIVED ON ONLY 6 HOURS OF SLEEP OKAY !


This week is going to be equally packed with stuff too !

Field trip to RWS/USS tomorrow, i  MIGHT be going to Sundown's fanmeet after that.
Saturday is the actual Sundown and on Sunday, there's Secilia Luna !
On Monday, it'll be another field trip to Clarke Quay !

MAD BUSY GIRL HERE ~




anyway.
I wanna say this here.

I am really really grateful for my Year 2 Semester 2 class.
I met lots of awesome people and I am grateful for my chance to meet them.

I love you people <3



And I leave you with a picture of ViViD, who are already in Singapore for Sundown !
(They arrived at 5.30 in SG, when I just got home dammmmmm)


This is their newest look for their latest single, FAKE ! <3 <3 <3

DAMMIT RENO, RYOGA AND IV IN SUITS = PURE SMEXY <3
/melting in progress/

till the next update !

191111

Imagine this.

 You are dead tired from the previous night and you go to bed, waking up at 12 the next day.
 When you step into the kitchen after washing up, all you see are moody faces.
 Still slightly dazed from just waking up, you get pushed around to do stuff all over.
While still in your sleepy daze, you get scolded for being forgetful and run to your room to get your laundry out.

 After being ordered around, you finally get to sit down and have your breakfast.
 Two bites later, you get called back into the kitchen again to continue doing stuff.
 After you're done, you go back to breakfast.

During breakfast, you get nagged at about random stuffs for no reason at all.

Finished with breakfast and you're off to pack your room.
Once you're done, you start browsing through the companies that you have to choose from for your internship.
When you finally found one you're satisfied with, you get nagged at yet again because apparently the company you wanna intern at isn't good enough for your parents.
After a round of attacks to your self-esteem and self-worth, you watch a recorded version of your favourite online broadcast.

Done with the video and you're off to take a nap.
The moment your head hits the pillow, everything that has ever happened to you flashes through your mind and you burst into tears. 
But there's no one you can turn to.
And the only thing that you can ever trust is your dear bolster.
While inanimate, it's the only thing that won't put you down.
It's the only thing that you can pour your secrets to.
Most importantly, it's the only thing you can trust.

You think about how nice it would be to have a bf with you to pour your heart out to and then you think of him.
You start crying again.
After your short nap you wake up, in a daze yet again and forced to head down to get dinner.

After dinner, you get nagged at again but you try to ignore it because your mood is getting better.
Back to your lappie, browsing through sites.
Mood's going up up up but then it goes all the way down again.

Why?
Because apparently, I'm "SELFISH" because you never asked about tomorrow's plans.
You want to retort back, but you keep it in.
From experience, you know that asking doesn't make a difference because in the end, when you do try to put in effort and ask, all you get are moody faces once again.
And deep down in your heart, you know that they were never the ones who "planned" birthday outings because if I didn't say anything, no one would bother asking either.

Feeling depressed again, you head to take a shower.
As you step in, you can feel those tears coming out again.
You just can't help it, and you start crying. 

Walking out of the shower, you wait and see who will notice your reddened nose and puffy eyes.
No one says anything. 
You head back into your own room.
You sit in front of your laptop.
Sudden realization dawns upon you, and you realize that in the first place, you never meant anything to anyone. 


It seems like tonight, you'll be crying yourself to sleep again.



 - - - -


 Welcome to my Saturday. 191111

七月八日 / theGazette

[ROMANJI / KANJI ]


Kimi to wakarete ninen ga tatsu ne  / 君と別れた　二年が経つね
nanda ka kinou no youni omoeru yo / 何だが昨日のように思えるよ
Betsu betsu no michi aruiteru kedo / 別々の道歩いてるけど
mata sukoshi kimi no houkou ite shimau yo / また少し君の方向行ってしまうよ


Ano koro mitai ni modoritai nante / あの頃みたいに戻りたいなんて
Kakko warukute ienai kedo / 各個悪くて言えないけど

Hontou wa ima demo dou shiyou mo nai kurai / 本当は今でも　どうしようもないくらい
Kimi ga suki da yo / 君が好きだよ

Nasakenai kurai maiban naiteta / 情けないくらい　毎晩泣いてた
Tsurai kara wasureyou tomo shita / 辛いから　忘れようともした
Demo omoidashi chau ne / でも思い出しちゃうね
Yappari sabishii yo / やっぱり寂しいよ


Kimi wa ima doko de nani wo shiteru no / 君は今どこで　何をしてるの
Taisetsu na yume tsukameta no kana / 大切な夢　掴めたのかな
Shinpai nante yokei na koto ka mo ne / 心配なんて　余計なことかもね
Onegai kimi no naka kara boku wo kesanaide / お願い　君の中から僕を消さないで


Oboete iru kai namida to egao ga / 覚えているかい　涙と笑顔が
Afureteta taisetsu na hibi wo / 溢れてた　大切な日々を
Futari nakinagara / 二人泣きながら
Mata aeru yone tte, wasurenai yotte / 「また会えるよね」って　「忘れないよ」って 

Konna naki mushi de yowai boku dakedo / こんな泣き虫で　弱い僕だけど
Mata issho ni aruite kureru kai / また一緒に歩いてくれるかい
Sonna hi ga kuru made nan nen demo matteru yo / そんな日が来るまで　何年でも待ってるよ

Douka koe wo kikasete  / どうか声を聞かせて
boku wa koko ni iru kara / 僕はここにいるから
Mou doko ni mo ikanai yo / もうどこにも行かないよ
koko ni zutto zutto iru kara / ここにずっとずっといるから

Koe ga kikitai, denwa wo shite miyou / 声が聞きたい　電話をしてみよう
Yappari kyou mo tsunagaranai... 　やっぱり今日も繋がらない
Sakete iru no? Sore sura wakaranai / 避けているの？それすら分からない
Sonna aru hi kimi wo mitsuketa yo / そんなある日　君を見つけたよ


Shiawasesou na egao no kimi / 幸せそうな　笑顔の君
Ima wa aisuru hito to te wo tsunaideiru / 今は愛する人とてを繋いでいる

Otona bita kimi wa totemo kirei de / 大人びた　君はとても綺麗で
Kanashii hazu na no ni ureshikute / 悲しいはずなのに嬉しくて
Genki sou na kao mireta dake de ii nante / 元気そうな顔見れただけで良いなんて　
kakko tsukete / かっこつけて


Koe mo kakerezu ni namida wo koraete / 声も掛けれずに　涙を堪えて
Tada chiisaku　te wo furutte mita / ただ　小さく手を振えて見た
Arigato nette genki de ite net / 「ありがとうね」って　「元気でいてね」

Sayonara kimi he boku wa ima demo / さよなら君へ　僕は今でも
Kimi no shiawase wo negatte iru yo / 君の幸せを　願っているよ
Mou aenaku naru daisuki na hitto / もう会えなくなる　大好きな人
Honto ni arigato kokoro kara / 本当にありがとう　心から
Sayonara genki de ne / 「サヨナラ　元気でね」
Mata au hi made / 「また会う日まで’」




[ ENGLISH ] 


It's been two years since we broke up, but it still feels like it was yesterday
Even though we're walking down different roads, I still look towards your direction sometimes

I can't say that I want things to be like before
Because it's not cool
But despite that I still love you
So much that I can't do anything about it...

I cried every night, which was shameful
I even tried to forget you because it was so hard
But I still think about you.
I'm still so lonely...

Where are you, and what are you doing ? Were you able to reach your precious dreams...
Maybe worrying is unnecessary But please, don't erase me from your memory

Do you still remember ? Those precious days
When tears and smiles were still spilling
We cried together saying that
We would meet again, that we'd never forget each other...

Even though I'm such a weak crybaby
Will you walk with me once more ?
I'll wait for years until that day comes

Please let me hear your voice I'm right here
I won't go anywhere anymore I'll stay here forever
I want to hear your voice, so I'll call you
But today, this call is rejected again...
Are you avoiding me ? I don't even know that
But one day I found you

You, smiling happily
You were holding hands with the person you love now
You were so grown up and so beautiful
And even though I should've been sad, I was happy
It was enough to see that you're doing fine...
I pretend to be strong

I couldn't even talk to you and I held back my tears
All I did was wave my hand a little
Saying thank you, and stay healthy
Goodbye to you

I'm still wishing for your happiness
You, that I love so much that I will never be able to see again
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart
Goodbye, take care
Until the day we meet again... 

Not exactly what I'm feeling but I guess I can relate ~~ 


UNTIL THE NEXT UPDATE :D 

i think I've been updating too much ... ... ...


okay nevermind.

UPDATE.


Had a field trip to Singapore Expo Hall today!
Far, yes.
But fun? QUITE

I think my class is pretty awesome.

:DDDDD no pictures, not much to blog because we were mostly chatting about all the stuff under the sun.
Oh yeah, there was a part where we were talking with one of the staff about ghost stories at Expo.
It was epic. (Y)


Ended up with a headache at the end of the day.
Thankfully it subsided after dinner.


-
-
-

I'm sorry.
For believing you.
For thinking that I was special to you
For thinking that you would fight for me.


ごめん。

I admit.

Yes, I do think of you sometimes.

I think about what happened, why, and more than you can imagine.
And then I'll question my own worth.
What was I to you?
And what am I to you right now?

You chose me for a reason?
Yeah right.


But thank you.
Now I really know.
What I mean to you,  what I mean to the world.

i hate this feeling in my gut.

I shouldn't go back to him.
No, I shouldn't let him back into my life.

but i feel guilty rejecting him.

le sighhhhhh.

IDGAF anymore.
if he wants to be back in here, he has to try harder.

dilemma

so you broke up.
then what?
come back to me?
I'm gonna be a replacement till you find someone like her and run off again?

what the fuck to you take me for?

back to update.

ういっすういっす！　/in Kazuki's voice/

I am back to updateeeeee ~~ /talking to some wall in some part of cyberspace/

Into the end of the fourth week of school and I can say that, I kinda like my class !

Its only been a month but I've already known some awesome people like Siyun and Elise!

Love them Lots okaaaay ~ !


Classes are BORING as usual and the modules are getting less and less interesting, and nothing sucks worse than DRY modules. Like, DRY AND BORING modules.
Macro, on the other hand, is an exception. Love it even though I am not good at it. #sadlife

-
-
-

This time, when he came to talk to me again, three lines exchanged.
Another one month after we last talked.
No idea what he is trying to fucking get at.
Therefore I am not going to give a fuck the next time he tries.
You have your GF, don't disturb my peaceful life TYVM.

-
-
-

And, there's this trending topic on Twitter about this girl who slapped her mother?
I don't know the whole story but yeah I just wanted to share my personal opinion.

NEVER EVER FUCKING TREAT YOUR PARENTS LIKE THIS.

I don't care if they have treated you badly or whatever not, but you DO NOT SLAP YOUR PARENTS.
If not for them, you wouldn't even be here. Let alone grow to the age where you can find a BF and forget about your family.
Grow up please.

okay, end of rant. and I guess that's it!
I'll be back soon, I HOPE :DDDDDDD