191111

Imagine this.

 You are dead tired from the previous night and you go to bed, waking up at 12 the next day.
 When you step into the kitchen after washing up, all you see are moody faces.
 Still slightly dazed from just waking up, you get pushed around to do stuff all over.
While still in your sleepy daze, you get scolded for being forgetful and run to your room to get your laundry out.

 After being ordered around, you finally get to sit down and have your breakfast.
 Two bites later, you get called back into the kitchen again to continue doing stuff.
 After you're done, you go back to breakfast.

During breakfast, you get nagged at about random stuffs for no reason at all.

Finished with breakfast and you're off to pack your room.
Once you're done, you start browsing through the companies that you have to choose from for your internship.
When you finally found one you're satisfied with, you get nagged at yet again because apparently the company you wanna intern at isn't good enough for your parents.
After a round of attacks to your self-esteem and self-worth, you watch a recorded version of your favourite online broadcast.

Done with the video and you're off to take a nap.
The moment your head hits the pillow, everything that has ever happened to you flashes through your mind and you burst into tears. 
But there's no one you can turn to.
And the only thing that you can ever trust is your dear bolster.
While inanimate, it's the only thing that won't put you down.
It's the only thing that you can pour your secrets to.
Most importantly, it's the only thing you can trust.

You think about how nice it would be to have a bf with you to pour your heart out to and then you think of him.
You start crying again.
After your short nap you wake up, in a daze yet again and forced to head down to get dinner.

After dinner, you get nagged at again but you try to ignore it because your mood is getting better.
Back to your lappie, browsing through sites.
Mood's going up up up but then it goes all the way down again.

Why?
Because apparently, I'm "SELFISH" because you never asked about tomorrow's plans.
You want to retort back, but you keep it in.
From experience, you know that asking doesn't make a difference because in the end, when you do try to put in effort and ask, all you get are moody faces once again.
And deep down in your heart, you know that they were never the ones who "planned" birthday outings because if I didn't say anything, no one would bother asking either.

Feeling depressed again, you head to take a shower.
As you step in, you can feel those tears coming out again.
You just can't help it, and you start crying. 

Walking out of the shower, you wait and see who will notice your reddened nose and puffy eyes.
No one says anything. 
You head back into your own room.
You sit in front of your laptop.
Sudden realization dawns upon you, and you realize that in the first place, you never meant anything to anyone. 


It seems like tonight, you'll be crying yourself to sleep again.



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 Welcome to my Saturday. 191111