Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Turbulent times, but it'll end, someday.

The past month has been kinda rough for me I guess.

I think I'm a fucking idiot. Something or someone must have screwed up my brain somewhere along my growing process somewhere.


What happened to the realist me? 
How could I, OF ALL THE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, actually believe for even one fucking millisecond, that I'd actually be liked by someone? 
How could I make that ONE FUCKING MISTAKE I swore that I’d never ever make?

It happened as most, if not all, relationships do.
We know each other, we talk, we hang out, and we get closer. 
Who doesn't know that? 

The same thing happened to me.

I got to know him, we started chatting, we hung out together, we got closer (a little too close actually) and now this is what happened.

I’m here left hanging.

You treated me to movies; you bought me a Baggu duck bag.
Holding my hand, warm hugs and sweet whispers.

I just can’t believe that I fell for all that, despite being the realist that I am.

Just so you know, I am not going to mention names, unless it’s about something positive that I want to credit. If the people involved are reading this, you know who you are.

I’ve heard stories, he was a player.  He’d leave them after he’s gotten to them.
For my case, looks like you gave up. But it’s affected me.

So I guess it’s an unexpected win for you.


Funny, ain’t it? It’s hilarious, seeing how I fucking believed it.
I feel like a total idiot now.



I would like to thank the people along the way who have helped me through this – Dionne, Christina, Ren, Ivy, Cassandra, Cyrus.

Thank you guys so much for listening me rant about this, and for the advice from you all <3 <3 <3 <3






I know what kind of person I am.
And I know for sure that I am not the kind of girl that guys like.

Fat, ugly, short, vulgar, stupid, careless, rough.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't choose me either" - Tumblr.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Now I know

OMG.
I haven't touched on this blog for SUCH A LONG TIME.

anyway. I'm freaking tired and this is gonna be a short post.

I am thankful for my realistic beliefs.
And I am glad that I know myself better than I thought.

I'm stronger now.